Silver wedding jokes

A woman and a man want to get married. The man agrees on the condition that the woman never opens the top drawer of his bedside cabinet during the marriage.
25 years later, on the occasion of the silver wedding anniversary, the wife opens the drawer and finds 3 eggs and 700 marks. The next day she confesses her breach of promise to her husband and wants to know what it means. The husband forgives her and tells her that he cheated once for each egg. Thereupon she forgives him the 3 flings and would like to know now still, what it has with the 700 marks on itself.
The man replies: "Every time the drawer was full, I sold the eggs.

Wife to husband: "You promised at the wedding to read the smallest wish from my eyes." - "That's right, but I still haven't figured out what your smallest wish is."

Many people who you think are long deceased are just married!

And then there was little Peter: "Daddy, do camels also get married?"
Daddy muttered, "Only camels, Peter, only camels."

Marriage is like going to a restaurant. You always think you've ordered the best until you see what the guy at the next table got.

"I've been married 25 years now and I still love the same woman." "Well, wonderful!" "You think so? If my wife finds out, she'll kill me."

"I have a great idea," the wife said to her husband. "Let's go out tonight and have a good time." "Excellent!" the husband replied. "If you get home before I do, please leave the lights on."

The reporter asks the silver wedding couple if they have ever thought about divorce in the last 25 years. The man replies: "Not divorce, but murder!

Husband asks the wine merchant, "What wine can you recommend for our silver wedding anniversary?" Answer: "That depends. Do you want to celebrate or forget?"

Silver wedding anniversary at the Muckermanns'. He hugs her and beams, "You look exactly the same as you did two and a half decades ago when I asked you to marry me!"
"No wonder!" she grumbles, "I'm still wearing the same dress, too!"

The husband gives his wife two roses for their silver wedding anniversary. The wife asks, "Only two roses? We've been married 25 years now!" To which the husband replies, "Well, you have to count the thorns, too!"

"The Müllers really do have a perfect marriage," says one neighbor to another. "In what way?" "He snores, and she's deaf."

An elderly couple is watching a young pair of lovers in the park. Suddenly the woman says, "You, I think he's about to propose to her. Why don't you whistle so he's warned!" He replies, "No one whistled at me either!"

Says the farmer to his wife: "In three weeks we will have our silver wedding anniversary. Don't we want to slaughter a pig for the occasion?" To which the farmer's wife replies, "What can the poor cattle do about it?"

She: "How do you like the food?" He: "Are you looking for a fight?"

At the regulars' table, Plümer says, "I've worked for the same boss for 25 years now."
"Me too," says Fiete, "next week is my silver wedding anniversary."

Every marriage proceeds in three typical phases:
Before the wedding: He talks and she listens.
After the wedding: She talks and he listens.
After the silver wedding: Both talk and the neighbors listen.

The silver wedding anniversary is celebrated in a big way. A friend of the husband chats with him over a glass of champagne. "What did you give your wife for your 25th wedding anniversary?" Replies the husband, "A trip to Australia!" The friend is thrilled: "But that's generous! Then I'm curious to see what you'll give your wife later on at your golden wedding anniversary." The husband calmly replies: "I already know: the return ticket!